Since January 1, 2016 I made a conscious decision to say buh bye to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat and if I can be totally honest, it has been one of the best months I've had in a looonng time.
Prior to my choice to say farewell I could tell that something was internally off. You may not have guessed it from looking at me but like I've said plenty of times-- the mask we wear tend to wear us down. My spirits were low, I was unhappy and physically my body was not only suffering from mental anguish but also from poor nutrition.
I've spent numerous hours of the day in a non stop rotation of logging in and out of my social networks. I was desperate to feel a connection to someone or something but I was growing more lonely and isolated. I found that my emotions were being weighted by my friend's updates. I was more focused on the business of others than my own self. I watched the posts that gained a lot of likes and I sought after that type of acceptance. I wanted to be seen because I was was afraid of becoming invisible and forgotten. I also got caught up in the comparison trap. I saw the pictures that gained the most attention and for some reason I wanted to become that. I wanted to be desirable, especially when it came to the man of whom I was most interested. Sadly, I began to accept being ignored/overlooked and I unconsciously began to internally mirror the rejection I was receiving online. I learned how to be okay with being spiritually, mentally, and physically sick because of my time spent not actively engaging in my life.
By the end of the year, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I knew something had to change. For me, it started with removing these major distractions. January is the month where I annually participate in a juice fast so it set up the pace to release the demons I've been constantly struggling with. In the first few days beginning a fast the body puts up a resistance to the detoxification process. The toxins in the body are being released and as I underwent those changes, I felt the withdraws from cutting off social media. My hands no longer had anything to do, the days were growing longer and I felt out of the loop.
But as the time continued on, I began to feel completely different. There is this new sense of peace. My mood isn't affected by anyone else's and I love the idea of being off the radar. The only way to know what is going on with me requires actually reaching out to me and vice versa. My conversations are more honest because the information is coming across fresh in that moment. It feels like the 90's again.
My happiness has increased significantly and by drawing closer to my God, He's been able to show me how to love myself. I don't want to be anyone else for anyone else but myself now. The other night I went out and that guy I told you I was interested in appeared to have been on a date, well let me tell you that I wholeheartedly accepted it. The old me would have been hurt (because somehow these sites create a false familiarity with people you hardly even know) and I would have begun comparing myself to his date and convinced myself of every reason why I'm the better option. Ironically, I feel freedom. If I can describe it, it's like this force of misplaced energy was suddenly repelled and shot right back into me. I may not understand people's choices but I understand that each of us get to make them.
I'm in such a great place right now. Without these distractions, I've been teaching myself sign language, I work out regularly, I make better nutritional choices, and I've set time aside to read the Bible and pray throughout the day. I made amends on a few friendships that were soured years back and because of that, I'm going on a couple of trips this year to continue building those bonds-- in 3D. The greatest gift I've been given this last month has been TIME. I have time to make and save money. I have time to learn new things. I have time to see new places. I have time to grow and develop into a stand up human being without the added pressures.
Now I could close this blog out by suggesting that each of my readers do the same but I think it has to be a decision you come about on your own. Everyone may not go through the cons I've experienced from social media and that's a blessing. For those of you though who can openly admit to yourselves that you may have an unaddressed addiction or if you find yourself looking down at your phone more than you do the person/people you love, then I encourage you to take a moment to evaluate what your giving your time to.
In the end, your mind, body, soul, friendships and relationships will ultimately benefit from it.
