Are you happy?

Well, are ya? Are you HAPPY?

Recently, I have asked a number of people this simple three word question and the answers I got back raised an eyebrow.
I noticed that this question did not bear an easy one word reply of "yes" or "no" to which I was seeking to hear. Instead the answers unfolded fears, doubts and many explanations. It was almost as if the subjects thought I was being too personal or as if I were attempting to offend them.

To further understand why I could not receive a one word reply to this question, I followed it up with asking, "What is your definition of happiness?" Not to my surprise, I again received many different responses.

Here were a few of the more common definitions given:
"Happiness is a state of mind, I could choose to be happy or choose to be sad."
"Happiness is a feeling."
"Happiness is something that is not real."
"Happiness is something you have to pursue, ie. The Pursuit of Happiness."

Again, these responses were being spewed as defense mechanisms. This reaction helped me to see why it was so difficult for these people to answer if they were happy or not, (in yes or no terms.)

I then turned the question onto myself,(as did one of the subjects asked) and my answer varied. I found that when I asked myself this question, I answered boldly with confidence. I had a one word answer, sweet and simple. Yet, when my subject asked, I had to give reason for the same answer that I gave to myself just moments before. It was as though I felt the urge to soften up my reply by giving specifics. As the day continued on, I honestly wanted to go back and tell the person who asked if I were happy to pretend as though they did not get the answer that I had given.

So what happened?
1. I became afraid that this person would be offended by my response. I did not want my happiness or unhappiness to unconsciously affect theirs.
2. I did not want to be misunderstood or judged by my answer.
3. I felt as though I had to protect my state of mind, my feeling (which is real to me) and my long pursuit of.

I believe that the many people I asked fell into one of these three above categories. We have learned from our past experiences that happiness is a temporary thing, so we best hold onto it tightly when it passes us by. But now it is up to us to unlearn the belief that tells us happiness is temporary or that if we do feel too much happiness; doom is lurking around the corner to steal it away and bring balance to us and the universe. That is a lie, so please do not believe it.

Counter react to the above categories.
1. Know that we are all responsible for our own happiness. My happiness or lack of can not change your state of happiness or unhappiness, and vice versa.
2. Your answer whether it be a yes or a no, is not a matter of being right or wrong. There is no one grading your response, so be honest with yourself and others.
3. Know that your happiness is already yours, it lives in your heart (the inside) and is shown through your actions (the outside), therefore it is already guarded and kept safe.

Your happiness is sacred, so I encourage you to become more like the psalmist and speak this prayer to yourself and the Lord everyday.

He says to himself, "Nothing will shake me; I'll always be happy and never have trouble." -Psalm 10:6

Now the next time that I or someone else asks you the simple question of whether you are happy or not, you can reply confidently with a YES or NO and know exactly why.